Sharing some stuff from the heart

I am hoping my behavior is somewhat in the scope of normal, I don't know if it is the cold meds or just seeing my little ones sick, or a case of the winter blues, but lately I feel a bit on the sensitive side. I can't seem to get past how fast my babies are growing. It literally reduces me to tears to look at some of their baby photos. You see, I was one of those girls who grew up to fast, I was always looking forward, trying to get ahead. I was a good teen, but truly it was not one of my favorite times in life. When I reached my 20's I did my best to enjoy all life had to offer, College, World Travels, Shopping, Sports, Fun and Friendships, but I never felt like my heart was in it, I was always looking ahead.

Until........
the day my son was born, I feel like that was the day my life began. That was the moment I had waited my whole life for. That all the other stuff I had done was just checking things off "the list". Now here I am, right where I wished so hard to be and it is rushing by, we say that a million times don't we? I am trying harder than ever before to be in this moment, cherishing each time they say cuddle me, each "love you to the moon" and every blown kiss. All because, these babies of mine have grown into little boys and from there they will grow into teens and from there into men and then the place and time I wished so hard to be in will no longer exist.


 I actually told my mother once that when I became a Mom I would not be like her. She gave all of herself to us, she never left anything for herself.  When we all left home, we each took a piece of her with us and she seemed no longer whole and a bit broken. She then had to rebuild herself from the ground up. I said to myself I would not do that, I said I would save some stuff for me! I think the words that I used were " I will retain a sense of self" What I realize now is that she did't have a choice. We were her whole world........and these boys are mine. Motherhood is as wonderful as I dreamed and a whole lot more scary.

Here is a page for March, a good reflection of the mood I'm in.

TTFN:)

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Sharing some stuff from the heart